If you are freaking out – and find no
Solace in the horrors of the world
As they unfold in big nasty dollops
Of measurable hell on earth and
Snap in line with all the grown
Ups living outside of themselves
In a diner sitting at the counter
Eating milk and drinking
Sandwiches
I want to help you.
I’m going to blow your mind.
But first: It is important that you settle down
And relax.
Second: Take refuge in the fact that I am
Right here with you and really listen to me
When I say that whatever you are going
Through “it” will pass.
IT:
Not understanding why. Thinking things.
Not understanding why. And shrinking.
Getting upset by thoughts.
That you have.
Especially the ones that know that they are nothing
More than thoughts you’ve been thinking.
But cannot seem to bring to any fruitful conclusion.
Into the rabbit hole we go, sweet Alice.
You know the drill, don’t you.
(What’s happening in Haiti?)
+
This state:
The other day I tried to explain it because I was acting
Weird as an emotional and mental fun-fest that knows
itself
But cannot explain itself with any degree of skill,
Maturity, insight, and/or satisfaction.
I feel like using the word aplomb.
But do not know this word well enough to stand by it
In a street fight.
Yet, I use it.
Here is the epiphany:
This state is not unlike getting Star Clusters flung
Into your eye where once they touch brain they are
Yanked out with a healthy dose of ‘Ouch’ the second
You notice them.
They (The Star Clusters) have a tampon string
Tied to the end of them and are sweet
Like a Thai street fighter’s gloves wrapped
In canvas, dipped in resin then coated with broken glass
Then finished with a high gloss monochromatic spray
Canned frost treatment.
It is fashion forward touch and makes them fire resistant.
As much as they are sharp they are soft and look like rock
candy.
+
The Star Clusters themselves are not so nefarious.
In fact, they are being flung around all the time.
You don’t see them because they are microscopic.
You probably have about 99,000 of them
In your left eye right now.
Harmless really. Unless of course you see
The tampon string.
So don’t.
Please resist the urge to put this theory to test.
Take my word for it. They are there. And
Once you see one for yourself (it is possible
With a balanced diet and ample rest) you
Are screwed.
Because from there you see
Them everywhere.
With great volume and frequency.
This state is loud and can run off with the better parts
Of you.
For want of end you become enchanted.
+
If you don’t believe me that’s okay but I’m telling
You they are there. In fact, you do not actually
have
To see them to know that “it” is there.
Use your other senses. And take proper measures
to forget “it”.
IT: The String.
The string on a star cluster is hot pink
And smells like the 1990s fragrance,
“Obsession for Men” and never stops
Humming the theme song to Back to
The Future.
They can’t help themselves.
I used to think it was because they had bad taste in music
And a poor understanding of personal/sonic space but
That theory was demolished after I actually met and
Spent some time with a Star Cluster’s string.
I was on my way home from Tulare.
It told me that it the whole Back to The Future thing
Was not so much because they loved the song but
Before I could get a coherent explanation it got
This far-away look in its eyes and went someplace
That I didn’t know nor want to know and i stood
There pumping gas until it came
Back to the real world to say, “Humming
Was the way it exorcised it so that it could get
Back to what was important.
I was a little scared so I bit into a piece of beef
Jerky and nodded like I understood and sat there for a
second
Because I had a sneaky suspicion that this little fucker
Was bat shit crazy until it looked me in the eyes and
Very sincerely apologized for the way its relationship
To the theme song from Back to The Future was
Plaguing me.
We shook hands and got to talking and became friends after
I learned that this particular string helped form the
Naropa
Institute in Colorado with Mr. Howl, Frank
Castle, John Denver, Bob Ross, and
John Candy.
I bought it breakfast because it was hungry
Then gave it a ride to the bus station.
It was on its way to the Florida Keys to go
Windsurfing.
It wasn’t until I was driving back through Tulare
On the way to drink Peppermint Schnapps with
Phil Collins in El Segundo that I realized
My wallet had been lifted.
That son of a bitch. I couldn’t believe it.
I was really in the mood for some fish tacos but now
What?
I was brained. My whole plan was screwed. My
world
Was completely subverted by my desire to trust and
Believe and for a while getting rickrolled by a
Star Cluster's tampon string threw a shit brown hue
On things.
Eventually, I got over it when i realized that
It happened. There was no erasing it. The experience
Was mine as I lived it and I was all the wiser
For it.
Now, I know my place in the world. Which is
fantastic.
But every once in a while – I find my self getting pelted.
Reaching for why. Thinking thoughts. And shrinking.
Because something like this can be hard to get over
And can really color your worldview if you are not strong
of mind and smart of heart to know when you are
Sliding.
This may be the only blatantly genuine statement of this
poem:
I am happy to say that I no longer love anybody.
I am happy to say that I like the one I love.
+
Fear not. While it is real it is not. And in
this state,
Things can start to become pretty dramatic.
But it isn’t.
And it is.
They are and are not thoughts.
More so a state to be explained
With or without aplomb.
Like Star Clusters with tampon strings tied
To the end of them that I bought
Breakfast for then dropped off at
The bus station so that it could
Go windsurfing in the Florida
Keys and told me stories about
The time it spent time at The Naropa
Institute in Colorado with Mr. Howl,
Frank Castle, John Denver, Bob Ross,
and John Candy only to put a real
damper on my day when I realized
that it stole my wallet and screwed up
My plan to eat fish tacos and drink
Peppermint Schnapps with Phil
Collins in El Segundo.
Yes. Its like that.
This State.
Tampon Strings and Star clusters.
Relax.
Everyone who is anyone knows
That nine times out of ten
Nine out of ten experts agree about
Something.
I am some of them.
